It is my own fault that I do not take action to make a career change. The devil I know is better than the one I don't. It doesn't matter that I am frozen with boredom and mind numbing fear. It is easy to float along because I know that I am good at it and it pays the bills. After all, I am still responsible for two litte boys (and one big one) that like to eat and have a warm, dry place to lay their head at night. Okay, Ryan does not like to lay his head down for any reason at night, but that is another entry in itself. There I go again, blaming others.
It is my own fault that I wallow in anxiety and depression hoping that Lexapro and Wellbutrin will keep me out of the deep abyss of darkness long enough to make it through another day. In fact, I know that one of the main reasons that I am in this twisty dark place is because I won't take that next step that I need to take to change my life to where it needs to be.
With this in mind, here are some goals that I am setting for myself.
- I will attend any author presentation coming to the area. I have called Ann to make sure that she alerts me to any of these opportunities.
- I will join the Association of Fundraising Professionals. How do I change my career path if I don't know anyone that does this type of thing. I need to network with them, and this seems to be a good way to do it. I have e-mailed the membership chair to see what I have to do to become a member if I am not affiliated with any fundraising organization.
- I will try to get a shower and out of my sweatpants on a daily basis. There is no guarantee that I will do this, but I will make an effort, starting tomorrow.
- I have started to go to Church. I am not a religious person, but perhaps seeing the world outside of these walls will enlighten me to see what I can not see on my own in my twisty dark place.
That is enough for now. It is a start that is long overdue.
